My 2025 Bookshelf: What I Read, Loved, and Couldn’t Finish Fast Enough

One of my favorite year-end rituals is looking back at the books that shaped me. Not just the well-written ones—but the ones that made me think, grow, question myself, and sometimes... roll my eyes so hard it gave me a headache.

In total, I read eight books this year. A mix of psychology, personal growth, social commentary, and a few that poked at the complex dynamics of gender and identity. Some I’ll recommend for years. Some I wouldn't wish on my worst client.

Let’s break it down.

🛏️ The 5AM Club by Robin Sharma

Grade: C

This one’s a paradox: it’s sold millions of copies, and I still couldn’t wait to be done with it. I appreciate the intention—to promote a morning routine that elevates your life—but it tries to deliver this message via a cheesy parable that just doesn’t land. It’s like motivational Mad Libs. There’s better writing, and better advice, out there.

Quote: “Own your morning. Elevate your life.” — but let’s be honest, the book itself doesn’t elevate much.

Takeaway: Wake up early? Sure. Read this book to get there? Probably not.

💪 Be Useful by Arnold Schwarzenegger

Grade: A

If you ever doubted Arnold, this book will change your mind. It’s equal parts autobiography and self-leadership guide. He distills his wild ride—from bodybuilder to actor to Governor—into seven powerful tools. No fluff. Just grit, resilience, and real-deal usefulness.

Listening to Arnold narrate it? Next-level. His passion and clarity are contagious.

Quote: “Be useful. Do something that matters. That’s how you earn respect.”

Takeaway: Don’t chase titles. Be useful. Do something that matters.

🧠 The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Grade: A

A masterclass in understanding trauma, and how deeply it lives in the body. I’ve read a lot in the healing and psychology space, but this still offered fresh perspective. It gave me language for patterns I’ve seen in clients—and in myself.

Quote: “The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”

Takeaway: Healing is physical, emotional, and deeply tied to how we relate to ourselves.

🛠️ The Tools by Phil Stutz & Barry Michels

Grade: A

This book doesn’t just talk about change—it gives you literal tools to break through resistance, fear, and creative paralysis. It’s fast-paced, practical, and surprisingly spiritual. I came for the tactics, but stayed for the mindset shift.

I find myself going back to these tools almost weekly, especially when self-doubt tries to sneak in.

Quote: “Real change requires the willingness to move toward pain.”

Takeaway: Don’t wait for clarity to act. Use fear as fuel.

📱 The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

Grade: A

This was one of the most confronting reads of my year. Not just for parents and teachers—but for anyone holding a phone right now. Haidt doesn’t just blame tech. He offers cultural context, spiritual insight, and real, hard questions about how we’ve rewired an entire generation.

I walked away rethinking my relationship with my phone—and how much of my attention I’ve been leaking without realizing it.

Quote: “We handed a generation of kids a portal to adult content, constant social comparison, and addictive algorithms—before they had the tools to handle it.”

Takeaway: The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety—it’s connection.

🕵️‍♂️ Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent

Grade: B+

Vincent disguised herself as a man for a year to explore masculinity from the inside—and the results are both fascinating and sobering. You can feel her discomfort, confusion, and at times admiration, as she wrestles with how society treats men and women differently.

Knowing her later life story adds an emotional weight to every page.

Quote: “Men are suffering. They have been silenced not by force, but by ridicule and shame.”

Takeaway: We’re all carrying more than we show. Empathy > assumption.

☀️ Staring at the Sun by Irvin D. Yalom

Grade: A

A beautiful blend of psychology and philosophy. Yalom writes about death anxiety with grace, and how confronting mortality actually gives us access to deeper meaning. His “here and now” therapy approach left a mark on how I show up for clients—and for myself.

Quote: “Though the physicality of death destroys us, the idea of death may save us.”

Takeaway: Live now. And live well.

🚫 Men on Strike by Helen Smith

Grade: C-

I went in curious. I came out frustrated. What could’ve been a thoughtful look at male disengagement ended up feeling more like a manifesto. Some ideas are worth exploring—like family court bias—but it’s too one-sided and agenda-heavy to be helpful.

Quote (from critics): “An interesting thesis, but undermined by weak evidence and ideological framing.”

Takeaway: If you want better gender discourse, read something else.

Final Thoughts

This year’s reading list reflected a lot of the conversations I’ve been having with clients: identity, masculinity, anxiety, distraction, purpose. I read to better serve. To understand more deeply. To question myself more honestly.

And if you’re a guy in your 30s—successful, smart, but feeling stuck—I hope something here speaks to you, too.

Here’s to reading that wakes us up—not just early in the morning, but to who we really are.

About Phillip Andrew Barbb

I’m a high-performance coach, Emmy-nominated TV producer, and author of All the Reasons I Hate My 28-Year-Old Boss. I help high-achieving men in their 30s who feel stuck between the life they built and the life they actually want.

Each week, I share real stories, sharp insights, and small, practical steps to help you lead yourself first—with honesty, courage, and heart.

Join my weekly reset session Sunday Solutions at www.phillipbarbb.com. Let’s get you unstuck.