You Can’t Outrun Your Emotions (Trust Me, I Tried)
- Phillip Andrew Barbb
- Aug 10
- 3 min read
When Doing More Stops You from Feeling Anything
A crazy belief I’ve carried for most of my adult life is this:
I can outrun my emotions.
If I just move fast enough - knock out enough to-dos, cram my calendar full of calls, hit inbox zero, stack wins on top of wins - maybe I won’t have to feel the anxiety underneath it all.
Maybe I won’t have to feel the restlessness. The doubt. The whisper that asks, “Is this it?”
Here’s what that actually looks like in real life:
Me, rechecking my to-do list for the third time before 9am.
Me, grabbing my phone like an adult pacifier.
Me, building the most efficient plan possible for the week…
…not because I need more structure, but because I’m terrified to slow down.
When I’m in that space, I feel a deep anxiousness, not just in my body, but in my spirit. I get fidgety. (And it’s not just the coffee and pre-workout).
I start to believe more motion equals more meaning and checking boxes will somehow check my feelings too.
But here’s the truth I’ve had to face — again and again:
You can’t outrun your emotions.
Eventually, they catch up.And if you don’t deal with them gently, they’ll deal with you violently.
For me, the breakdown usually shows up as burnout. Or snapping at someone I care about. Or collapsing on the couch wondering why I feel so empty after such a “productive” week.
The real work, the kind I used to avoid, is slowing down long enough to listen.
That means:
Going to AA
Booking the therapy session
Calling someone I trust and actually telling the truth
Journaling
Meditating
Having a Weekly Coaching Group for support
Sitting in silence without grabbing my phone
None of that looks impressive on a LinkedIn update. But it’s what fills my tank. It’s what makes me more effective, more present, and more me.
When I’m emotionally taken care of, I’m a better coach, better friend, better man. Period.
So if you’re someone who stacks your schedule so full there’s no room to breathe — I get it.
But maybe this week, instead of asking “How much can I get done?”
Try asking: “What do I need to feel right now?”
Offer yourself some grace. You’re not a robot. You’re just a human being trying to hold it together. And maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to “hold it together” — you just need to be held.
So, let’s both stop trying to achieve all of this year’s goals in one week.
Let’s learn how to live it.
About Phillip Andrew Barbb
I’m a high-performance coach, Emmy-nominated television producer, and author of All the Reasons I Hate My 28-Year-Old Boss. I know what it feels like to be successful on paper but restless in spirit.
Through this newsletter and my weekly virtual check-in Sunday Solutions, I help high-achieving men in their late 20s to late 30s who feel stuck between the life they built and the one they actually want.
If you're tired of playing it safe, stuck in routines that don’t fulfill you, and you're craving clarity, purpose, and momentum, you’re in the right place.
Each week, I share real stories, sharp insights, and small, practical steps to help you lead yourself first — with honesty, courage, and heart.
Ready to reset and reconnect with purpose? Join the next Sunday Solutions session at www.phillipbarbb.com.
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